Hello Ailyn, can you please check this little writing ?
This is for a formal meeting and in my point of view, it looks okay to use as is actually. But as it's given to me for correction, please take a look and correct it if needed. Thank you !!!
Welcome Address for ERP Kick off meeting
Good morning, Everyone.
First of all, I'd like to give my special thanks to the president Ig-Gyo Kim and Director Seho Jang for encouraging our kick-off meeting , and also to ERP team and key men gathered in this room today.
As the project manager Mr. Lee (Young hwan lee) presented before, I
think I don’t need to explain this project in detail again.
Today, I’d like to emphasize users’ participation and co-working for this project. It is very important espeically before system development.
Without users participation, we cannot expect correct functionalities and proper business benefits from the new system.
So, key users are required to cooperate tightly with ERP team. The management will support you with enough care as possible as we can.
I hope this meeting would be a good time for all.
I thank Mr. Kim again for coming far from Korea.
A pleasant morning to everyone! ( I think this salutation is better. ^^)
First of all, I would like to give my special thanks to President Ig-Gyo Kim and Director Seho Jang for encouraging?? our kick-off meeting. I want to express my deepest gratitude to Mr. Kim for coming all the way to Korea. (Is this what he meant?) More so, I would like to appreciate the ERP team and all the key men gathered in this room today.
Since Mr. Lee, the project manager, already presented the details of the project before, I think it’s not necessary for me to explain them again.
Instead, today, I would like to emphasize on the users’ active participation and cooperation to make this project work. These things/points are essential especially before the system development. Without the users’ active participation, we can’t expect correct functionalities and appropriate business benefits from the new system.
Therefore, key users are required to cooperate strongly with the ERP team. The management guarantees that adequate support will be given as much as possible.
I hope everyone to have a wonderful time in this meeting.
Thank you!
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1. 1. I think ‘encouraging’ is not the appropriate word for that context. Please explain to me what he actually meant so we could find the appropriate word for that.
2. 2. I also transferred the last sentence to the first paragraph. If President Ig-Gyo Kim and Mr. Kim are the same person, then I think it belongs there.
3. 3. If you’ve got any questions, please let me know.